DISCLAIMER: I am not pregnant. This is just a bundle of thoughts that have been stewing in my brain.
I’m terrified of having kids. I’m terrified that he/she will have a piece of me indwelling them — the piece(s) that’s insecure, unsure of their steps, chained to the demands of the people around them. I’m scared of the world they’ll enter into — the world that says love is a feeling, and it’s ok to let people go and move onto something else that “feels good” if you’re done with whatever else you “thought you loved.” The world that says it’s all about them and gives kudos for buying a homeless man a sandwich or dropping some quarters in the salvation army bucket but discourages them from really living beyond their comfort zone. I’m terrified because I don’t believe I’m ready to live beyond mine.
Then I remember the families I know who are making it work, by God’s grace. Their kids can tell me with confidence that Jesus loves them and that God is good. Their marriages are still genuinely in tact, if not thriving. Even after four kids and dirty diapers and whiny teenagers. The husband prays with his wife, the wife watches the game with her husband. They’re the ones who make sacrifices on a daily basis – giving and loving and disciplining and praying and praying and praying. Many people smirk and laugh, “Look how ridiculous that is! Those stupid Christians. Brainwashing their kids to believe in a God who created them and actually cares about them.” But these families press on and press in and I am so thankful for their example.
So much of this world is cracking under the weight of its own expectations and disappointed in its self-inflicted rat race for pleasure and power and MORE. I get swept up in that race a lot, until grace tackles me to the ground and stubbornly reminds me that I am loved and valued and OK.
These families are living proof to me that where cynicism may be slicing homes, relationships, and dreams apart — the Gospel is in the business of mending and strengthening them. So, thank you. If you are a mom or dad or grandma or uncle or godfather who is faithfully raising children to know and love their Maker — please be encouraged. Your commitment to grace and Truth are evidenced in how God is using your home to be a beacon of hope in a world that can’t seem to stop fighting it. When I play with your kids or watch them grow up via Facebook (sorry for the one million “likes” on all those photos btw), my heart is renewed by the goodness of our great God. I remember I have the same hope in Him and that my home is also a beacon.
You and I both know we don’t get it right all the time but, because of Jesus, we know we don’t have to.
I have to keep reminding myself that God knows (if children are in my future), what kind of world they will grow up in. He knows the friends they will make, the places they will explore, the hurts they will endure, and the very last day of their lives. He knows all of it and he calls me to step out in faith and “GO.”
Be fruitful and multiply.
Love your neighbor as yourself.
And do not be afraid,
Because I have gone before you.